Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He better not be in your backpack
I just gargled with NyQuil
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
