Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
