soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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