Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
