I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
