I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
