coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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