do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I take back everything I said about communal showers
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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