i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
