roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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