Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
