That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
