imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
