To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
