farters have to be the big spoon...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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