from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
