We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize