then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm too high and old for this...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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