I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
