Christians are straight up FREAKS
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize