I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
