Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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