dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
