Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
