Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have post one night stand depression
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