and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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