I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
