he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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