Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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