I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
