I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
