Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The uberlube is also flammable
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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