The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
