The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
