If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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