does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
