I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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