Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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