we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
