Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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