And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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