I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
