his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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