I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
