you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize