Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
