I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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