kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
