upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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