shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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