If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
