Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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