I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
