Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
