It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize