I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
