I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
