She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
