i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
we're so committed to being not committed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
