Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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