Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm both gender and math confused
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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