We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
