What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize