well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
