Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
