Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
