i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
