yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
